Oops To The Tenth Degree!
by CuddleMeClose
Summary: When something unexpected leaves you with something you'd never expect. Mostly VincentYuffie, CloudYuffie, TifaCloud onesided, ReeveYuffie one sided. Last chapter has a bit of cussing. I'm re-writing it. Now less sucky.
1. Chapter 1: So When You Say

Author's Words: I had begun this story 08-21-07 and finifhed in 2008. I cannot believe that! I'm re-writing it because I cringe at the mistakes I know must have made back then. I haven't looked at this story since it was finished but it's time to bite the bullet and fix past errors. I want all my fanfiction to be the best it can be. For you and me… but mostly me.

Dedication: When I made this story it was dedicated to someone who inspired this fic. I think it only fitting that it stays that way. For Simple Simplicity, a simply sweet person who gave me a chance to feel like a real writer even if it was just for pretends. Thx.

Disclaimer: I own nothing from Final Fantasy.

Oops to the Tenth Degree!

Chapter 1

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"So… when you say 'pregnant'…you mean?"

The doctor blinked in surprise. "I mean, that you're expecting a baby. That's why you have been sick in the mornings and it also explains you having cravings for different foods and mood swings." Vincent sat silently next to Yuffie as they both stared at the doctor in a white coat sitting across them behind a polished wood desk. The silence stretched for what seemed like an eternity as the news sunk in.

"…"

"…"

"… So… When you say 'expecting a bab-"

"How long?" Vincent said in a tense and grated voice, so unlike his usual dead-pan tone that Yuffie's eyes widened.

"Oh!" The doctor said, obviously uncomfortable from Vincent's piercing and glowing red eyes boring into his very soul. "I'd say she's about three months. She'll start showing soon!"

"Your sperm is supposed to be dead like the rest of you!" Yuffie screamed standing up from her sitting position pointing an accusing finger at Vincent. Vincent didn't seem to hear her as he continued to look straight ahead with glazed and wide eyes. 'A child!?' Vincent thought over and over.

"No." He said quite suddenly. Standing up the red cloaked man strode out of the office as if nothing happened. Yuffie and the doctor both gawked after him until Yuffie came to her senses and quickly followed her dark companion. She had to practically jump into the car since he obviously wasn't waiting on her as he began to pull out of the parking space.

The 45 minute car ride was completely silent with Yuffie making fleeting glances at the man who would be the father of her child ('MY CHILD!' she thought) drove the car.

He drove to the Shinra Manson, their current home, with an air of silence so full of tension that Yuffie didn't dare say a word. To Yuffie it seemed like yesterday when she told Vincent (She never outright asked him) that she was going to be living with him to get away from her Father. After defeating Sephiroth she knew she didn't want to go home yet, she wasn't ready to help rule the country at the age of 17 along with everything else that entailed. Marriage, kids, and the burden of a dying country did not appeal to her. So she had demanded that Vincent let her stay, inside hoping beyond hope he would accept her request. She still, to this day, didn't know why he allowed her stay in the first place.

The first year was excruciating as they tried to co-exist with one another, it was a time of arguing and avoidance. The second year was awkward with feelings that left them both blushing and stealing glances of one another arouse, 'The like-like period' Yuffie had named it. The third year was wonderful as lingering touches turned to sweet kisses and continued to grow, the love year. That brings us to the fourth year, pregnancy. 'Shit-balls.' Yuffie thought to herself.

They reached the manor and Vincent pulled the car into the garage, exited the car, and walked into the house without even sparing Yuffie a glance. The young girl gulped as she felt she was somehow in trouble. Unbuckling her seatbelt she quietly exited the car and slowly made her way into the house. 'Did… did I do something wrong?' She thought poking her fingers together in a timid way (something very unlike the boisterous ninja).

She was surprised to enter the house and see Vincent standing in the middle of the living quarters with his back to her, just standing in the middle of the living room. This was the first time in a long time that she actually felt a little scared of him. He turned to her with piercing eyes like red fire making her gulp and take a step back. "V-Vinnie?" She said in a quiet shaky voice.

"Yuffie," He said in a dark tone turning to face her fully. Her eyes widened at his entire demeanor. His shoulders were slightly hunched and his claw was flexing, almost twitching. His face was filled with tension as his eyebrows knitted together and his jaw clenched. To say he looked agitated would be a sever understatement.

"Vinnie, I-"

"Yuffie," the cloaked man interrupted her, "You have to know I have put your best interest first."

'Wha…?' She though with a confused looked on her face. "Yeah." She agreed. "You always make me shower everyday and eat my vegetables and all that crap."

Vincent continued as if she didn't say anything, "Then you must understand that it is in the best interest of not only you but everyone else on this planet when I say; you have to get rid of it."

She stared at him dumbfound almost not even hearing him. 'Get rid of… it?' His words played through her mind slowly. He didn't want it. He wanted it destroyed? Something they created, admittedly on accident, like it was nothing? For that matter, did she want it? She never thought of herself as a Mother. Maker knows she couldn't even keep plants alive. Was it for the best that she terminates the pregnancy? For herself and Vincent, as if it never happened? But…

"No".

It was only after it was said that she realized it that the word came from her. She didn't even remember forming the word in her mind before it was already out of her mouth. She was also surprised at how strong her voice sounded considering she has never felt so scared in her life.

"What?" Vincent said, unable to keep the surprise off his face.

"No." She stated it as a fact. "That is not an option."

"Yuffie," He said, his tone softening but she could still hear the anger in the background. Anger at what she wasn't sure, "Please try to understand. To bring that thing into this would-"

"Baby not 'thing'. Get it right."

"Since I am the father you don't know what it will be!" he said his voice rising. "Have you forgotten what I am!? A genetic experiment? A monster with the sole purpose to destroy anything and everything . I will not allow you to bring some sort of abomination into th-"

"You are a monster! Only you!" She screamed causing him to look at her shocked. Never has she ever spoken to him so coldly, or her eyes look as steely as she brought her hands to hold her stomach in a protective manner. "You're the worst type of monster if you think for a second that this baby could be anything bad. And if you even try to take this from me I will kill you."

At that moment he realized that he was quickly loosing the love of his life. There was nothing tender left in her eyes and demeanor for him. There was now only anger, pain and the linger sting of betrayal. "Yuffie…" he said sadly, all the anger and fear leaving him with only sadness and regret."I didn't mean… I just…"

"Save it." The young brunette said striding past him with her head high and shoulder back, an air of cold nobility suddenly surrounding her, "If that is really how you feel Vincent Valentine then please allow me to get rid of YOUR problem!" Yuffie said loudly, her shouts dripping with venom. She left Vincent standing alone in the living room as she went up the stairs to their ('His' she corrected herself bitterly) room.

Grabbing her old tan backpack she carelessly threw in some clothes and toiletries, all the while holding back her emotional breakdown. Yuffie's pride came before all else and she would have rather died then let Vincent see how broken she felt inside. In her distraught state she didn't even notice she didn't pack any Gil or Materia. Throwing her bag over her shoulder she stormed out the house not even giving a sideways glace in hope or fears of seeing her now former lover. Her heart felt frozen as she didn't see any sign of Vincent but she refused to let it get to her. Stepping into the warm sunlight of the outdoors she still felt a chill inside that she didn't think would ever go away.

'What am I doing?' She thought as she slowly walked away from Shinra Mansion, the only real home she ever knew. 'Where will I go? I can't go home like this, with a baby in my oven.' She patted her stomach gently not even paying attention to where her feet were taking her. 'Gawd a baby!' A pained smile played on her lips, 'I'm going from Spoiled Brat to Momma Brat.' A small sob broke free from her throat and tears formed in the corner of her storm colored eyes.

She stopped her aimless walking to rest near the large water tower in the center of town and sighed. "What am I going to do now? I really have nowhere to go…" She fought back her tears and instead shook her head in anger. "Nope. Not freaking out. This is me keeping it together!" She pumped her small fist in the air and claimed "I am the a Mightly Ninja Princess-"

"Yuffie?" A strong and slightly surprised voice said.

Yuffie dropped her arm to her side and turned around to the source of the deep male voice. In a suddenly small and breathless voice she simple said, "Cloud?"

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Author: Re-reading this was so painful I dry heaved a little.

I do want to put out that I am not necessarily against abortion. In the county I live in it is a choice that women can make. I don't look down on people who choose this path. It's never an easy decision to make. To me it's just a sad one.

Review please or make a request for one-shots. FF-VII or Naruto please. My anime knowledge is limited.


	2. The Blond Knight

Author: This whole thing was just so awful… I was such a little spazz-writer back in the day. Yuck. Not to say I'm now super-epic or anything… Guhhh… Hate explanations. Just read the damn chapter.

Disclaimer: I own nothing from Final Fantasy.

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Yuffie sat on a squishy gray couch staring at the small marshmallows that swirled in her cup of hot cocoa. She almost signed aloud but held it back so as not to concern Cloud further. The blond was currently sitting across from the modest glass coffee table in a simple dark blue armchair. His glowing blue eyes were regarding Yuffie in a way that made her squirm.

'He's always so intense.' she mused. 'At least he isn't asking a ton of questions and considering how I acted…' Her thoughts trailed off to their chance encounter just hours ago.

After their initial greeting in Kalm, Yuffie had broken down and simply clung to him while bursting into tears, telling him everything without him even asking. He didn't say anything. Instead he simply held her close, rubbing her back in what could have been an affectionate manner. It wasn't until she collected herself enough to stop crying did she ask what he was doing in his 'old hometown'.

"Business." He simply stated. "I actually have one more delivery to take care of. I won't be long." He picked up a duffle bag by the door and left without another word.

:: A few hours ago::

_Cloud had taken the distraught ninja to lunch, a humble café with a homely and comfy feel on the northern part of town. He insisted that she eat as much as possible and that he would be paying. She made it her policy to never argue if something is free. They ate quietly, both lost in their own thoughts until the blond finally asked in a quiet voice, "Where were you going?"_

_She sniffled uncomfortably in her chair not even looking up to meet his eyes. She stated in a slightly nasally voice, "That's just it! I don't really know where I can go. I don't have anyone to go to with and I can't go back to my Dad with," She pointed to her stomach, "this. Even if I wanted to start on my own I forgot all my money because of Vi...Er… I guess I really have no where."_

_Cloud was silent for a time just watching the short haired princess. He sipped his tea and Yuffie thought she could almost heat the gearsturning in his blond head. _

"_Come live with me." He finally said. _

"_Wha..!?"Yuffie was so shocked she looked up wide eyed to meet his stunning blue stare and for a moment that was all she could focus on. Yuffie had always loved Clouds eyes. Such a brilliant and haunting blue color that held so many secrets that they always caused Yuffie to blush. Even in her state she couldn't help the heat rise to her face. 'Do not. Check out. Former Boss.' Yuffie reprimanded herself._

"_Y-you want me to live with you?" Yuffie asked. She felt the tears fill her eyes and couldn't stop them. Not out of sadness. Cloud was opening his home to her. Her tears were of joy and relief. _

"_Sure." He stated shrugging his shoulders nonchalantl. _

"_I couldn't do that." She thought aloud, 'Why not?' She thought to herself, 'I really have nowhere else to go!'_

"_Why not?" Cloud said, "You said you have nowhere else to go."_

"So, here I am!" Yuffie said allowed. Cloud brought her to his home in Edge City, the city that was built where Midgard once stood, and took her to his spacious one-bedroom apartment near the orphanage both he and Tifa currently owned. When they had first arrived he had instructed her to get comfortable. He soon left, to where she had no idea.

This time she did release a sigh as she finally took in her new living quarters. Gray-colored carpeted floors and white walls described his place along with small pieces of simple furniture. That's about it. No pictures or anything personal to really show that anyone lived here. Yuffie looked around once again not really sure what to do with herself. She couldn't very well do much in here since the couch and Cloud's chair was the only thing in the 'living room'.

Standing up she went to the kitchen and wasn't too surprised at that she found in the cupboards: one glass, one plate, one bowl. She did smile when she also noticed and odd and particularly large chocobo coffee mug. Yuffie snickered when she remembered that she was the one to get that for him last year for his birthday.

Going to the (what she suddenly realized was the ONLY) bedroom in the apartment saw a bed with a black comforter and an alarm clock on a small nightstand. The Ninja praised Gaea that there was an actual T.V. in the corner of the room. 'At least now I know I won't die from boredom!' Walking to Clouds closet she found a dresser and a few empty hangers. There was also a wooden dresser in the closet. She considered the dresser for a few moments longer wondering why he would keep it here. Not feeling as if she is doing anything wrong, she stared rifling through his dresser drawers.

'Huh, who would have thought he was a boxer-briefs kind of guy.' She thought holding up a pair of his underwear. She also found a lot of black shirts, black pants, one pair of dark jeans, and an odd manga titled _School Girl Play._ The cover had two girls, one with long blond hair and the other with short black hair (something similar to Yuffie's hairstyle) in short school uniforms.

Not seeing anything else to look at Yuffie plopped herself down on the bed and started looking through the book. The first page was of the two girls in school uniforms sitting on a bed. "Oh Mika! You have a stain on your shirt. You better take it off so I can clean it!"

"Oh!" The other girl said blushing, "You take off yours too Hina! I'll feel better. Tee hee."

Yuffie's eyes widened as she continued to read. 'Oh dear Hades…'

:: Two hours later::

"Yuffie!" Cloud said coming through the front door, a couple of large bags in his other arm. "I'm back. Where are you?"

"I'm in the bedroom!" Yuffie said. "I'm hungry so you better have brought me something to eat that isn't cottage cheese. That's that only fucking thing you have in your goddamn fridge."

"Remind me to talk to Cid about how he speaks around you the next time I see him." Cloud said as he tried to get the annoyed twitch of his eyebrow under control. He fished out a smaller bag to give to Yuffie, hoping it would meet her expectations.

Cloud walked to the bedroom to find the young girl sprawled out on his bed watching T.V. She turned to look up at him with hopeful hungry eyes. She gave a mischievous toothy grin as he handed her a bag of food. She took out the fast food burger and munched away happily. "I brought you some of Tifa's clothes until we can get you some for yourself. He said, "I also brought a lot of food and some DVD's so you can stay occupied until I get some more stuff for the apartment."

Yuffie smiled up at him after taking a particularly big bite of food. "How ong aph I stafing wit yo?" Yuffie asked her cheeks puffed out with food. He couldn't help the smug smile that played across his face as he said, "As long as you need to. Besides, Tifa has always complained when she would come over that I need more stuff in my apartment."

Yuffie swallowed the food and wiggled her eyebrows at him. "Oh! When has Tifa come over, you sly dog you!" Cloud just blushed and bopped her head playfully telling her to not to say such things. "So, where am I sleeping Cloudy?" Yuffie asked tilting her head to the side.

"The bed of course." He stated, "I'll sleep on the couch or the floor in the living room."

Yuffie shock her head and said, "That stupid couch is so old and beat up you'll never get a good night sleep! Plus the only blanket you have is the one I'm currently sitting on."

Cloud raised a blond eyebrow and asked, "Then what do you suggest?"

"We'll share the bed!" Yuffie said putting her fist in the air excitedly, "SLEEPOVER!" She yelled happily. "We'll stay up late telling spooky stories and braid each other's hair."

When she saw the horror stricken look Cloud gave her she sighed. "Is the horrified look because of sleeping next to me? Do I look like I have cooties?" Cloud still looked uncomfortable and she sighed. "Hey. We're both adults! We can share a bed no problem."

"Yuffie, that idea seems incredibly inappropriate."

"Look…," She said seriously. "I just don't want to be alone right now. Okay? Super Ninja Yuffie is really scared and depressed and really needs you. I have a baby in the oven and I don't know the first thing about taking care of anything or anyone other than myself. Just please let me stay here, okay?" The brunette frowned and refused to meet his eyes. Having to ask for anything, even in her current state was hard.

Cloud sighed and hand his hand through his spiky blond locks. "You better not be a blanket hog."

::Some time later::

Turns out Cloud was a cuddleer in his sleep.

'I'm being spooned by my old crush.' Yuffie thought absentmindedly as the two lay in the comfortable bed. She was currently in a pair of Tifa's pajamas (a large button up cotton shirt and matching pants) which was three sizes too big for the petite Yuffie. Wrapped in the blanket and Cloud's strong arms Yuffie felt a little better about her situation.

'Things will work out hopefully. Cloud will help me while I get my shit together. I can probably get a good job here or at least rob some of the richer saps in the area. I will be fine… I wonder how Vince- NO! No, I will not think about that jerk every again! I don't need him! He probably already forgot about me and is back mourning his dead wannabe girlfriend.' She felt tears forming and her eyes and couldn't help the small sniffle.

"Yuffie?" Cloud said in his sleepy voice. He pulled her closer to him and said soothingly next to her ear, "Don't think about it. Think about something else, anything else."

She sniffed. "Okay…" Yuffie's thoughts then drifted to what she found earlier, "Oh, Cloud, just so you know… Since I'm living here for now, you really need to find a better place to hide your hentai."

A soft 'plop' sounded seemed to echo in the bedroom as Cloud hit Yuffie in the face with a pillow.

End Chapter 2

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Author: For your information I might refer to Vincent as a vampire but he isn't actually one in this story. In the game, if Yuffie is in your party when you first recruit Vincent, she actually shouts 'Vampire' at him. That is the only reason he would be referenced as one. Gawd.


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